I haven't posted in a while.  I was really sick after my surgery.  Unfortunately it's not illegal to get appendicitis and a horrible cold at the same time.  Damnit!  That's not the damnit from my subject line.  Damnit because I was doing really well.  I had some fruit and yogurt today.... until dinner.  Then I had a few potato skins.  And a cheeseburger.  And some fries.  And some chocolate cake.  DAMNIT!!!!!!!  How is it possible that something can seem like such a good idea at the time and then a little later I'm looking in the mirror going MOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!  I'm slowly turning into a cow.  Except if I was grazing on grass all damn day I'd probably be skinny.  Furkkk.

Current Mood: discontent

I just talked to my best friend again.  The skiiiiiiiinney one....  It's NOT FAIR!!!!!!!  If I could go back to cocaine I'd be that thin again too...  I know I can't do that though....  Now I'm addicted to food instead and DAMNIT!!!!!!  I eat a bunch of food and that's still "good" for me because I usually binge all the time.  I'm like "I ate like a normal person today go me!"  I guess that's better than having 2 million calories by lunch time....  I'm still post-op so I can't exercise or my stitches will hurt like hell.  I feel like a cow....especially when I talk to ms. skinny teeny tiny little friend. 

I'm having issues with food.  I quit using drugs about 6 months ago after an OD.  I used to be thin, pretty......  Now I've gained a lot of weight.  It's like I've started using food as my addiction since I quit everything else. 

Current Mood: confused